CUT TO:

EXT. A CAVE- NIGHT

Not far from the road Jazmine drags Sabastion inside.

CUT TO:

INT. CAVE- NIGHT

Sabastion comes in and out of consciousness

SABASTION
Jazmine, I'm not going to make it. I have a favor to ask before I die.

JAZMINE
Anything you want, Sabastion.

SABASTION
Don't laugh.

Sebastion leans forward, puckers his lips.

SABASTION
Kiss me once before I'm gone.

Jazmine leans forward and quickly kisses him. She moves back.

SABASTION
Thank you.

JAZMINE
Thanks for all you're help.

SABASTION
I've enjoyed helping you.

JAZMINE
See you in the morning.

SABASTION
En la Manana, Jazmine, if I'm still here.

They both lay down.

CUT TO:

INT. A DANCE CLUB- NIGHT- NIGHT

Yauria and Lane sit at table talking. El Banda plays on stage.

LANE
How do those guys expect to kill The Captain when they keep stopping to play gigs?

YAURIA
You wanna dance?

LANE
We better get our plan together first.

YAURIA
What's to plan? We show up and you cut The Captain's head off with this.

Yauria picks Lane's sword up off the table.

LANE
You're not much of a women's libber are you?

YAURIA
No.

LANE
Do you know what that means?

YAURIA
No.

LANE
Well let's dance.

CUT TO:

INT. CAVE- NIGHT

Jazmine sleeps, a RUSTLING startles her, she wakes quickly to see El Professor with a
knife to Sebastion's throat.

EL PROFESSOR
Ooh, I have struck a pot of honey, a veritable goldmine of filth and perversion. I dare
say this shall be the greatest day of my life.

SABASTION
Run Jazmine! Run!

EL PROFESSOR
Yess! Run Jazmine.

Jazmine goes to run but hears-

SABASTION
Jazmine!

Jazmine stops and turns towards Sabastion.

SABASTION
You will save Gricel! I believe in you.

Jazmine smiles and turns to run again but hears-

SABASTION
Jazmine!

Jazmine stops.

SABASTION
I just want to let you know, I was a little in love with you.

Jazmine smiles softly, turns to leave but hears-

SABASTION
Jazmine!

Jazmine stops.

SABASTION
The last three days have been the best three days of my life because I got to spend them
with you.

Jazmine is nearly in tears, she waves goodbye and turns to leave hut hears-

SABASTION
Jazmine!

Jazmine stops.

SABASTION
Goodbye.

El Professor falls on Sabastion. Jazmine returns and throws El Professor off him and into
the cavern wall, El Professor's head smashes against the wall and he falls over dead.

Jazmine looks over at Sabastion. He's gone.

JAZMINE
Thank you.

Jazmine walks out.

CUT TO:

INT. CAVE- NIGHT- LATER

Ralph and Tranquilo step inside. Tranquilo quickly dumps holy water on El Professor's body
and says a prayer over it.

Ralph kneels over Sabastion and prays until Sabastion starts to caugh.

TRANQUILO
You'll have to teach me that prayer.

RALPH
I didn't do anything. This man's will to live is remarkable. He simply refuses to die.

CUT TO:

INT. CAVE- MORNING

Sabastion drags himself outside and into the desert.

CUT TO:

EXT. DESERT- DAY

Sabastion still pulls himself along, Ariana pulls up in an SUV and gets out.

ARIANA
You poor, poor, man. Let me help you.

Ariana bends down to help Sabastion up, he shrugs her off, then notices how deformed her
face is, he nearly barfs.

SABASTION
(turning his head away)
Leave me. You must help my friend. She's walking out here all alone. You must find her and
help her, please I beg you.

ARIANA
Nonsense, we're going to get you to a (laughs) hospital and then-

SABASTION
No! My life is over. But my friend, her name is Jazmine, she's alone and she needs help.
Please, please. Find her and help her.

ARIANA
You'd give up your life for your friend? Tell me about her.
Is she young and pretty?

SABASTION
Yes. She's beautiful.

ARIANA
You guys and your young and beautiful women! And it's not just mortals, angels are the
same damn way. I gave everything to Ralph and then one day he acts like he doesn't even know who I am anymore. He won't
return my phone calls and suddenly he's too busy to take me out to lunch, or he starts in with the "our relationship is
starting to become inappropriate crap"- oh to hell with it, I'm leaving you here and I'm not doing a damn thing to help
your friend, I have my own love life to worry about.

Ariana gets back in her SUV backs up and runs over Sabastion's only good leg. Sabastion's
screams are drowned out as she peels out sending a cloud of sand into the air.

CUT TO:

EXT. MEXICAN HIGHWAY- DAY

Jazmine is back out on the highway waiting for an approaching car.

Satan’s black RV pulls up. PA-UL steps out.

JAZMINE
Do you speak English?

PA-UL
Yeah, what the fuck do you want?

JAZMINE
Is there anyway I could get a ride to the next town? Sir? Please? Sir?

PA-UL
I ain't you're fucking sir, my name is Pa-ul, you dumb bitch.

JAZMINE
Oh my God, you are like the most insulting man I have ever met in my entire life.

PA-UL
Yeah? Why don't you go fuck yourself?

SATAN steps out.

SATAN
My apologies, sweetheart. Pa-ul is just tired from the road. What can I do for you?

JAZMINE
I need a ride to the next town really bad, but I don't think I want to be anywhere near
this guy.

PA-UL
Slut.

Satan motions for Pau-ul to go back inside. Pa-ul reluctantly steps back into the RV.

SATAN
So where are you headed?

JAZMINE
Puerto Vallarta.

SATAN
That's where we're heading! Step inside and we'll get you there in style, won't we Pa-ul?

Pa-ul, now sitting behind the wheel doesn't hear this and talks to himself:

PA-UL
(mumbling)
Motherfuckers, sons of bitches, fucking sluts, goddamn cunts.

Both Satan and Jazmine turn away from Pa-ul's vulgarity.

SATAN
(apologetically)
Come in, please.

Jazmine takes Satan's hand and steps inside.

SATAN
So tell me Jazmine, how did you get to be stranded way out here?

CUT TO:

EXT. THE CAPTAIN'S MANSION- DECK- DAY

Gricel looks out at The Captain's garden, he steps outside and walks up to her.

THE CAPTAIN
Gricel, are you ready? I have so many fun things planned for us today.

GRICEL
You're so sweet, but you know, I was thinking of just staying here. You're garden is
getting out of whack and you really need to wash your load.

THE CAPTAIN
My load?

GRICEL
Your car, dude.

SHOT: The Captain's car is a little dusty.

THE CAPTAIN
Wash my car, Gricel? I can hire someone to do-

GRICEL
-And waste the money? No no no, we can do it. I'll get a bucket, you get the hose, and
we'll take care of business. We want people to have a good opinion of us, don't we?

THE CAPTAIN
Of us, yes Gricel. Of us. Of you and me together.

GRICEL
Oh and you gotta lose the dress clothes. We're gonna be working so just put on some old
shorts and a t-shirt.

THE CAPTAIN
(disgusted)
A t-shirt?

GRICEL
And flip-flops- it's a washing the car kinda thing.

The Captain turns to go in the house.

THE CAPTAIN
(not happy)
No me gusta those flip-flops.

CUT TO:

INT. RV- DAY

As the RV rolls down the road Jazmine sits at the small kitchen table drinking hot cocoa.

SATAN
My gift to you, Jazmine.

Satan sets down a English/Spanish dictionary.

JAZMINE
How did you know I don't speak Spanish? Do I just have that "I don't speak Spanish" look
on me?

Satan grabs Jazmine's hand as he sits across from her.

SATAN
You're fine. Fine, totally fine, Jazmine. I just like giving gifts.

JAZMINE
Well you're in luck because I like taking them!

SATAN
So this is your time to vent, Jazmine. You don't know me and after we drop you off you'll
never see me again. Feel free to unleash on me all that has gone bad in your life. I do
love to listen.

Satan pets her hand.

JAZMINE
Nothing has gone all that bad. I'm in a tough spot now, and I get discouraged from time to
time, but I'll get out of it. Things will be peachy again like that.

Jazmine yanks her hand away and SNAPS her fingers.

SATAN
Peachy? You've had a totally terrible, tragic and crappy life- (realizing he has said too
much) I mean we all have had terrible things happen. It's part of life.

JAZMINE
My life hasn't been perfect, but you know what? I just keep thinking good thoughts.

SATAN
Good thoughts?

JAZMINE
Yeah. You can call me the happy ice cream man on a hot day. Ring Ring Ring- here I come
driving by with a refreshing push pop. That's what good thoughts do, they refresh those
around me. So I keep thinking them. I'm like the happy local gas station that's open 24/7.
Just pull in and there I am- hey dude! You need a fill up on positive encouragement? Ding!
Ding! Ding! That'll be $34.50. This is amazing cocoa. What's you're secret?

SATAN
(getting sick)
Fudge.

JAZMINE
Huh! Wow (just moves her lips) Tastes good.

SATAN
(struggling)
And when those bad things happen to you, Jazmine? What good thoughts do you think of?

JAZMINE
Well I'm like the happy movie theater down the street playing happy movies of puppies and
new born babies and pretty flowers, and nice shoes, and wedding gowns and sweet old
couples who hold hands on the beach together, are you alright?

Satan is doubled over in pain.

SATAN
Forgive me, I think I had some bad tacos.

JAZMINE
See, right now if I was you and my tummy hurt, I'd be thinking of a big happy field of
daisies, with lots of happy little puppies playing and a happy young beautiful couple
pushing their little happy baby as they held hands so much in love, with the sun shining
so bright and the happy woman looking down at her new pair of nice shoes-

Satan clutches the table, dizzy, he collapses.

CUT TO:

EXT. MEXICAN HIGHWAY- DAY

The RV stops and Jazmine is pushed out by Pa-ul.

PA-UL
I'd call you a cab if I gave a shit.

JAZMINE
Is your boss going to be okay?

PA-UL
Fuck you.

JAZMINE
You know, I just don't understand you. Where does all the hostility come from?

PA-UL
I'm like the happy sewer pipe that burst and I shit all over everyone, you happy dumb
bitch.

Pa-ul shuts the door and the RV takes off.

JAZMINE
Sarcasm! Yeah, I get it, dude! Not a tough concept.

Jazmine once again walks along the road alone.

INT. RV- DAY

Pa-ul drives as Satan struggles to take the passenger's seat.

SATAN
If I spent anymore time with her Pa-ul, I think she would destroy me and all the evil I've
brought to this world.

PA-UL
What a bitch.

Satan looks back in the passenger side mirror.

SATAN
Yes...but..she did look stunning.

CUT TO:

EXT. THE CAPTAIN'S MANSION- GARAGE- DAY

The Captain finishes washing his car and slams the sponge into the soapy bucket beside
him. Gricel walks up.

GRICEL
Wow that car looks good.

THE CAPTAIN
I'm so glad you like it, Gricel, I've worked hard on it. Let's go out to dinner and then a
movie perhaps?

GRICEL
We could do that.

THE CAPTAIN
Let's go get ready.

GRICEL
But then we wouldn't get the yard mowed or trimmed and the bannister leading to the porch
is kinda loose. Tell you what, I'm in the fixing the bannister kinda mood, you feel like
mowing?

THE CAPTAIN
Of course I want to mow the yard. Don't I look like I want to mow the yard?

The Captain does his best to muster a toothy smile over a bad attitude.

GRICEL
You do! And as far as going out for dinner and a movie, I can cook and there are always
good movies on TV, we'll save some cash. We'll have just a great night inside. I'll start
cooking, and you get that mower going!

As Gricel walks away The Captain's face turns to pure hatred.

THE CAPTAIN
(very mad)
NO ME GUSTA!

Lane's sword taps The Captain's shoulder.

LANE
You're gonna like this even less.

The Captain turns to see Lane and Yauria standing behind him. The Captain bends down on
one knee.

THE CAPTAIN
No, no. I don't want to die like this.

LANE
You want me to spare your life? Yauria?

YAURIA
No.

Lane goes to strike The Captain but Hess stops him, gripping Lane's head and dragging him
to the ground. The Captain stands and socks Yauria in the jaw, knocking her out.

THE CAPTAIN
You know I'm really NOT impressed with the level of protection here.

HESS
You're assassins cover a lot of ground.

THE CAPTAIN
Maybe your heart’s just not in this line of work anymore. Hand me his sword, I'm gonna
gut this bitch.

Hess waves his hand and Yauria's body disappears.

THE CAPTAIN
The boss is gonna hear about this, Martin, yeah and the dynamite too. Well I found it
under the house. When were you gonna tell me about that? I'd say you've lost it, old man.

HESS
Watch your mouth or maybe I'll be the assassin.

Gricel steps out on the the back deck.

GRICEL
Hey love, who's your friends?

THE CAPTAIN
Uh. Honey this is Martin Hess an old and trusted business partner and this man is a lazy
American who's just taking a nap.

GRICEL
Are they gonna stay for our dinner and a movie?

THE CAPTAIN
No, I do not believe so.

GRICEL
Okay. Well they should probably leave so you can on that yard work.

Hess picks Lane's body up and drags him away. The Captain watches him leave.

GRICEL
(O.S.)
SHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR (sounding like a mower)

The Captain turns back and Gricel is pretending like she's pushing a mower back and forth.

CUT TO:

EXT. DEWEY'S ROOF- SUNSET

Dewey has been drinking and leans against the edge with a golf club in one hand and a beer in the other and stares out at
the sunset. Tamaledo takes the golf club and lines up for his own shot out into the ocean.

DEWEY
God I hurt so damn bad without her, Tamaledo. I loved her. How many beers do we have?

TAMALEDO
(in Spanish)
One hundred and sixty five.

DEWEY
(not understanding the number)
That doesn't sound like enough, we better do a beer run. I'm getting drunk tonight,
Tamaledo, cause my heart is broken.

CUT TO:

EXT. DEWEY'S MANSION- NIGHT

As the music plays Dewey stumbles across the roof to the radio, he turns it up and then
crashes into his chair. Dewey brings a beer up to mouth and drinks.

Tamaledo and The Real Estate Agent watch as Dewey looks really, really sad.

DEWEY
I love her, Tamaledo. I love Yauria Benevitez.

TAMALEDO
Si. You do love her.

THE REAL ESTATE AGENT
Poor man, he traded all he had in this world to show a woman he loved her.

TAMALEDO
When he's with her, he smiles. In his heart he smiles. She makes him feel like the most
important man in the world. If he had her again, he could do anything. He will be great
once again I think.

THE REAL ESTATE MAN
If he gets her back again.

Dewey stumbles out of his chair and movies to the ledge of his roof and yells.

DEWEY
Yauria Benevitiz! I love you!

THE REAL ESTATE MAN
Let's go buy him some dinner, the crazy gringo.

Tamaledo and The Real Estate man walk out. Dewey slumps back in his chair. Hess appears
beside him.

DEWEY
Jesus! Why do you do that?

HESS
Get over it, and hand me one of those beers.

DEWEY
Help yourself.

Hess reaches over and grabs a cold one from a bucket.

HESS
Problems? ...Me too.

Hess drinks.

HESS
I have a solution for your problem.

DEWEY
You can bring Yauria back to me?

HESS
Not exactly.

INT. A PUBLIC SQUARE- NIGHT

Dewey and Hess sit at an outside table of a bar, inside the floor is packed.

A bucket of beers is set on the table. Hess pulls out two and hands one to Dewey.

DEWEY
So why this place.

HESS
Look across the square.

Across the square also at an outside table at a quiet restaurant Yauria cradles Lane onto
her shoulder, taking care of him.

DEWEY
Why did you bring me here?

HESS
You gave up Gricel for her. And you gave up your fortune to buy her a mansion.

DEWEY
I did.

HESS
And now there she is with a chump. That's the kind of woman she is deep down. I've known
Yauria for many years Mr. Beers. Maybe you should head back home and try to get your life
back.

DEWEY
What do you care?

HESS
Hell I don't care. Drink every night and cry over her. I just thought you were a more
worthy of an adversary to end up like that.

Dewey and Hess watch as Yauria spoon feeds Lane a bowl of soup. Lane gives her sad puppy
eyes and she kisses the top of his head.

HESS & DEWEY
(together)
Please.

CUT TO:

EXT. A HUT- MORNING

Sabastion pulls himself out of the desert and to a poor family's single room hut. An old
woman hanging clothes looks over to him. This could be Sabastation's chance at rescue and
salvation, but she is the same Old Woman whom he scared from before at the highway.

She sets her clothing down and slowly approaches Sabastion.

SABASTION
(in Spanish)
Thank God! I need water, water.

The Old Woman starts to kick Sabastion. He slowly starts dragging himself again. The Old
Woman's kids run up and join in kicking Sabastion.

CUT TO:

EXT. PUERTA VALLARTA- STREETS- MORNING

Sheila and Boxhead walk past busy people, they panhandle for anything they can get.

Ariana steps out from the sidewalk with a bicycle that has a sidecar on it.

ARIANA
Could I interest you in a free bike?

SHEILA
Could you! Thank you older miss!

ARIANA
You'll need this.

Ariana holds up a rifle and then hides it in a basket on the back of the bike.

SHEILA
(not knowing why)
Okay!

Sheila hugs Boxhead.

SHEILA
Boxhead! We got wheels!

Sheila turns back to Ariana.

SHEILA
But you don't have no cheese?

ARIANA
of course not.

SHEILA
Dang!

ARIANA
Just tell Ralph I helped you.

SHEILA
Who's Ralph?

CUT TO:

EXT. HIGHWAY- MORNING

Sabastion still pulls himslelf along and is still being kicked by the Old Woman and the
Old Woman's Kids. Sabastaion smiles as he sees a long switch laying on the road. He
hurries towards it, grabbing it with his broken hand he turns and swats the Old Woman. He
then thrashes at the Kids. He thrashes at them so hard he has moved his body into the
middle of the highway. That's when a Semi barrels down the road towards him. Sabastion
hurries to get off the road as the truck heads straight towards him. He makes it just far
enough that the truck passes. He looks to the sky and thanks God. The Old Woman takes the
switch out of his hand and starts whipping him with it. Sabastion continues to pull
himself along.

EXT. DEWEY'S ROOF- DAY

Dewey paces around the roof on his cell phone.

DEWEY
(into phone)
Sue, we're losing the office and you're out of work. There should be some men coming to
take the furniture away.

INT. DEWEY BEERS INC. OFFICE- DAY

Movers pack up the office equipment into boxes.

SUE
(into phone)
They're already here.

A MOVER picks up one of Sue's dolls, she quickly snatches it back.

EXT. DEWEY'S ROOF- DAY

DEWEY
(into phone)
I'd like to say something like take care of yourself, but-

SUE
(into phone)
You don't really care?

DEWEY
(phone)
No.

Dewey hangs up with Sue and looks at Tamaledo.

DEWEY
Once again, Tamaledo, let's do some shopping.

CUT TO:

EXT. ANOTHER CATHEDRAL IN MEXICO- MORNING

The cathedral is bathed in sunshine and warmth.

INT. ANOTHER CATHEDRAL IN MEXICO- MORNING

Tranquilo walks in and kneels next to Ralph who is in prayer.

TRANQUILO
They're close.

RALPH
How much longer?

TRANQUILO
I beg you to end this, my Grace. This is not right, it will not bring your true love back.

RALPH
I owe it to Ariana and nothing will stop this now.

Tranquilo stands, frustrated, wanting to stop it himself.

RALPH
Sit Padre, let's enjoy the rest of the show.

Arianna appears next to Tranquilo.

ARIANNA
And what a show it will be.

Tranquilo slides over to avoid her.

CUT TO:

EXT. A BUS STOP- MORNING

Besides a few run down huts and shacks there is not much around as Jazmine walks up to an
OLD MAN and an OLD LADY who sit quietly on a bench.

JAZMINE
When will the next bus be coming here?

MAN
Manana.

Jazmine looks in her translation book.

JAZMINE
Ugh!

She sobs a bit and walks away then stops.

JAZMINE
Where can I catch a bus today?

The man moves away from his wife with a kind smile on his face.

The man points with his hand- down a hill, across a river, up over another hill across a
field and way over to a road that is nearly out of sight.

JAZMINE
I can't go on. I'm broke, I'm tired, I don't have any friends left and I don't know where
my sister is.

The man goes to hold her when his wife smacks him with her bag. She pushes him away from
Jazmine. LOUD RANCHERO music plays as El Banda's truck pulls up.

VICENTE
Chiquitita! You're still looking for The Captain?

Jazmine nods.

VICENTE
Get in, we know where he's at.

JAZMINE
Where's Gabe?

Raul and Tony laugh, Jazmine puts her head down and goes to walk away.

VICENTE
I'm not asking you to get in, Chiquitita.

Raul pulls a gun from a box in the back of the truck. He hands it to Vicente.

VICENTE
Get in the damn truck, now.

The Old Man hollers at Vicente in Spanish. Vicente shoots him. The wife cries out and he
shoots her too. Jazmine runs but Tony and Raul jump out of the truck and grab her.

A bicycle bell RINGS.

Raul and Tony stop. Sheila pulls up on the old bike with the sidecar in which Boxhead
sits.

SHEILA
We won't be having no hurting little girls, today mates.

Vicente shoots at Sheila but Boxhead steps in front and takes the bullet. Vicente shoots
again, Boxhead takes another shot in the head.
Boxhead approaches now, Vicente empties the gun on him. Boxhead drops.

SHEILA
You killed me mate!

VICENTE
Rip her apart, boys.

Raul and Tony move in on Jazmine.

Sheila walks back to the bike, she pulls the rifle out, aims and shoots Vicente. He falls
into the back of the truck. Raul is in shock, saddened, he looks at Vicente and then back
at Sheila. Sheila takes aim and shoots Raul. Tony is now off and running through a field,
Sheila takes aim again and fires. Tony falls.

SHEILA
There we are, little miss.

Sheila walks over and hugs Jazmine.

JAZMINE
You're, you're freaking amazing, chic.

SHEILA
It's nothin'. Oh! Me Boxhead!

Boxhead stands up and takes off the box to reveal a metal box underneath it.

SHEILA
Boxhead! How crafty!

Sheila runs over and hugs him.

SHEILA
We'll we're off to kill The Captain so we's can be billionaires. What are you going to do
today?

JAZMINE
That's exactly what I'm going to do. But you can kill the Captain I just want my sister
back.

Sheila gets on the bike.

SHEILA
Come on, hop on the back, just mind me tail, little miss.

JAZMINE
Let's just take the truck.

SHEILA
Okay miss.

Sheila, Jazmine and Boxhead walk to El Banda's truck.

SHEILA
What a smart miss you are. It was going to be a long bike ride to Cincinnati.

JAZMINE
Ugh! You don't know where The Captain is, do you?

SHEILA
Miss, according to me's rat's intuition The Captain's standing in line for a new driver's
license at the Cincinnati department of motor vehicles, sure as the driven snow.

Vicente groans in the back of the truck.

JAZMINE
Give me the gun.

Sheila hands it over, Jazmine gets in the back of the truck. She shoves the rifle into
Vicente's crotch.

JAZMINE
Okay, you're showing us where the Captain is or the next shot is where it counts.

CUT TO:

INT. BAR- DAY

LEIDY walks into a smokey bar, hours after most patrons have left. She gets the attention
of the BARTENDER.

LEIDY
I'm looking for The Captain.

BARTENDER
Oh si! The Captain, he is over there on the dance floor with those women.

LEIDY
Thank you! (To herself) That was easy. Maybe you are the brainy one.

Leidy moves to the dance floor where she sees Gabe and the three female groupies dancing.

LEIDY
Gabe, where's Jazmine?

GABE
Oh, uh.

LEIDY
Where's Gricel?

GABE
Ah jeez.

Leidy realizes Gabe is too involved dancing to be of any use.

LEIDY
I'm leaving you here, Gabe and I'm going to find my sisters.

GABE
Oh, ok.

The three girls take Gabe to the other end of the floor.

Leidy walks out.

EXT. BAR- DAY

As Leidy walks out El Banda's truck drives past. Jazmine notices Leidy and bangs on the
window for Sheila to stop.

JAZMINE
That's my sister! Leidy! Leidy!

Sheila stops and reverses back to the bar. Jazmine jumps out of the back of the truck as
Leidy runs up to her. Leidy freezes as she examines the situation: A woman dressed as a
rat is driving, a man with a box on his head sits shotgun. A dying man with a rifle shot
in the gut lays in the back.

LEIDY
What the hell is going on? Where's Gricel?

JAZMINE
We're going to get her back right now, get in. Wait.

Jazmine hugs Leidy. Sheila steps out of the truck.

SHEILA
Hop in miss, don't let the sight of me and old Boxhead fret you none, we're gonna get your
sister back just as soon as we get to Cincinnati.

Leidy gets in the back still rather unsure of the situation.

JAZMINE
Would you mind?

Jazmine takes the truck keys from Sheila's hand.

SHEILA
Not at all.

Sheila lets Jazmine get in the driver's seat. Leidy gets in shotgun. Sheila and Boxhead
climb into the back. The truck takes off just as:

SABASTION
Jazmine! Jazmine!

Sabastion pulls himself along the parking lot behind them.

SHEILA
Ay! Your Jazmine aren't ya?

JAZMINE
Yes, why do you ask?

SHEILA
There's a man with no legs crawling towards the truck shouting for you.

Jazmine looks in her rear-view mirror and sees Sabastastion crawling towards her.

JAZMINE
Sabastion! See Leidy! It's just like I always told you, good thoughts can bring good
things.

LEIDY
I don't know what you got going on here, Jazmine, but I think you're flipping out.

Jazmine puts the truck in reverse.

JAZMINE
Well, you just sit back and watch good things happen, missy.

What Jazmine doesn't notice is how close she is to Sabastion.

Sabastion realizes she is coming back way too fast- he musters all of his strength to pull
himself up to shout at her but the truck rolls over him.

LEIDY
You were saying?

CUT TO:

EXT. PUERTO VALLARTA STREET- DAY

Gary and Selso casually stroll up to a parked Trans-Am. Gary breaks the drivers side
window and opens the door.

INT. TRANS-AM DAY

Gary steps in and lets Selso inside. As Gary hot-wires the car Selso makes an observation.

SELSO
Gary, you see that puss over there walking with that fat, ugly chic?

GARY
The bitch that looks like a fat beaver?

GARY
Uh-huh.

SELSO
Gary, I bet that guy got a really good breakfast this morning, and I bet she's going to go
home and make him a really good dinner.

GARY
She looks like a fat beaver, who cares?

SELSO
I know she does, it's just got me thinking that maybe life shouldn't be about ripping
folks off and spending all our money on hot-ass strippers and cocaine.

GARY
You think we should get fat ugly girlfriends?

SELSO
We would eat better, Gary. And...I have always heard that bigger girls give a guy more
loving. I do need more loving, Gary.

Gary finishes hot-wiring the car and opens a fifth of whiskey and downs a 1/4 of it.

GARY
Well it's nothing we got to decide right now.

SELSO
No it was just a thought. Ready partner?

Gary finishes another bolt of whiskey and hands it to Selso.

GARY
Take a shot of this, you're going to need it.

EXT. TRANS AM- DAY

The Trans-Am takes off.

CUT TO:

EXT. PARKING LOT- DAY

Jazmine, Leidy, Sheila and Boxhead stand over Sabastion.

SHEILA
Dang miss! This chap looks like two hundred pounds of bloody hamburger.
You done ‘em in one good!

Sheila puts up her paw for a high five, Jazmine ignores her.

JAZMINE
Sorry dude.

LEIDY
You want a few moments?

JAZMINE
Yeah I think I should just walk away for a sec.

Jazmine walks across the street to a small restaurant.

CUT TO:

INT. RESTAURANT- DAY

Jazmine is looking at a menu in Spanish while a WAITRESS stands by.
Jazmine hands the menu back.

JAZMINE
I'll just have some tea.

As the waitress leaves Hess steps up.

HESS
Do you mind if I sit with you?

JAZMINE
Help yourself, guy.

HESS
Feeling down?

Jazmine doesn't answer.

HESS
Me too.

He sets his black fedora on the table as he sits.

HESS
I'm having second thoughts about my career.

JAZMINE
Aren't you a little old for that? No offense. You're gonna be dead soon, you ought to quit
working now and just try to enjoy the last few minutes of your stupid life.

Jazmine realizes how out of character she is sounding and digs deep for those good
thoughts.

JAZMINE
oh my God, that is just like the best hat I have ever seen.

HESS
Would you care to try it on?

JAZMINE
Could I?

Hess hands it over, Jazmine tries to put it on her head but the force of her innocent soul
won't allow the evil of the hat to so much as crest her hair.

JAZMINE
Huh! You must have a small head, dude. I can't even get this on.

She hands it back.

HESS
Nevertheless, you're stunning without it, if I may say so.

JAZMINE
You may! So tell me about you! What's this job like you hate so much?

HESS
If only I could tell you, I'm afraid it is rather dark.

JAZMINE
Dude, I just killed a guy that probably really did love me. You can't be that bad.

Hess looks around un-assuredly, then decides to get back into the conversation. He looks
at his hat.

HESS
I bought this hat at a little shop in France during World War I.

JAZMINE
(not realizing the age implications)
Wow! That was a bit ago. How do you keep the hat so nice?

HESS
Hatbox.

JAZMINE
Duh! I should have guessed.

HESS
Oh I am sorry, for my melancholy. I just have run my course in my present line of work. I
don't have the heart for it anymore. It's a cause for some regret when you know you're not
going out with a bang, you're just going out.

JAZMINE
You know what? When God closes one door he opens another. You just have to walk on
through.

HESS
And what would a man like me find if he walked through one of those doors?

JAZMINE
I guess that's what makes life worth living, you get to find out.

CUT TO:

EXT. PARKING LOT- DAY

Sabastion's remains are zipped up and he's tossed into the back of an old paddy wagon.
Police stare at Leidy and Sheila. Leidy looks to the restaurant.

LEIDY
Jazmine's never gonna be the same after this.

SHEILA
In that case, miss, I can be your new mommy.

LEIDY
What are you talking about? We're sisters.

Sheila laughs this off.

LEIDY
Jazmine and I are like two years apart.

Sheila laughs again.

LEIDY
Whatever, I'm getting Jazmine and we're getting the hell out of here.

SHEILA
Ooh, we can't leave miss. The police are gonna arrest your mommy and toss her in prison
just as soon as she comes out of that restaurant.

LEIDY
It was an accident.

SHEILA
Likely story, little girl. No one's buying it. I'm not.

LEIDY
You were there, you saw it.

SHEILA
No one likes a liar, little girl.

Jazmine and Hess walk up.

JAZMINE
So what kind of trouble am I in?

SHEILA
It'll be hanging now doubt, miss, but I promise to love your daughter just as you did.

HESS
(disregarding Sheila)
I'll handle the police, why don't you just be on your way?

SHEILA
(to Hess)
Ooh! Your not to boss the likes of me and old Boxhead around, you're not! I won't put up
with no bossin-

Jazmine grabs Sheila's hand and tries to walk her away.

JAZMINE
-we're leaving! Are you comin' or not?

SHEILA
Ooh! I won't put up with that kind of filthy talk miss! Why no one's touched me and I
wouldn't be touching myself out in public now would I?

JAZMINE
(getting the joke)
Just get in the back of the truck.

CUT TO:

EXT. DEWEY'S HOUSE- ROOF- DAY

Tamaledo unloads an armful of hatchets, ice pics, handguns and bats.

DEWEY
Good job, Tamaledo. Let's kill The Captain, sell The Mansion and get back to living again.
God, I just feel free without Yauria. Don't you?

TAMALEDO
No se.

Hess steps onto the roof.

HESS
And what are you going to do with all this?

DEWEY
I'm sure you can guess.

Hess cracks open a beer and has a seat.

DEWEY
Help yourself.

HESS
I thought I would save you the time. The end is already here. Why don't you drink up with
me. Let's talk about your favorite person in the world and what you can do to get her
back.

Dewey decides to join Hess.

DEWEY
I don't want her back. I gave up everything for her. And the bitch blew me off.

CUT TO:

INT. THE CAPTAIN'S MANSION- MASTER BEDROOM- DAY

The Captain sits up in bed and watches Gricel dress.

THE CAPTAIN
Gricel, would you come to me?

GRICEL
Of course, sweetest love of my life.

THE CAPTAIN
I do love you, Gricel.

GRICEL
I love you.

THE CAPTAIN
Do you trust me, Gricel?

GRICEL
With all my heart.

THE CAPTAIN
Play a game with me.

GRICEL
What kinda game?

THE CAPTAIN
Lay down.

GRICEL
This is the kinda game I wanna play.

She kisses him, he kisses her back as he lays her down and ties her arms to the bedpost.

THE CAPTAIN
I'm so sorry, Gricel.

GRICEL
What are you sorry for?

THE CAPTAIN
I really did love you.

GRICEL
(jealous)
Did?

THE CAPTAIN
I loved all of them. Some men have an unquenchable lust for the female body, I have an
unquenchable need to love women, Gricel. But the only way I can truly move on to the next
one, is to have you out of the way.

GRICEL
Fuckin' A, man, I'll be gone right now. Just let me up.

THE CAPTAIN
But I couldn't live with myself, knowing that you're out there, having hurt you. You must
die, Gricel.

The Captain raises a knife in the air.

Gary walks in behind the Captain, holds a shovel high and brings it down across the
Captain's head. He falls dead to the floor.

GARY
Fucking dude talks too much. I would have just stabbed this bitch.

Gary sets Gricel free.

GRICEL
Thank you.

Gricel hugs Gary.

SELSO
I think she likes you, Gary.

Gary goes to feel her up but she slaps him and runs out of the room, comes back into the
room and kicks The Captain and then runs back out.

SELSO
Gotta take his head, Gary.

GARY
Oh yeah, just like old times.

SELSO
(agreeing)
Huh.

Gary brings the edge of the shovel down several times, blood splatters, Selso tosses him a
bag.

GARY
(scratching his crotch)
Where'd that broad go?

SELSO
She took off, dude. Hard shit for a broad to watch.

GARY
Yeah, feel like smoking some coke?

SELSO
I am Selso Martinez, and you're my best friend Gary Two Trips, what else are we gonna do?

GARY
(scratching his crotch again)
Perhaps we should start looking for girlfriends?

SELSO
Gary, Gary, Gary. You told me once that life should be about strippers and cocaine. And
you're right. Girlfriends would just get in the way of that dream. Our dream.

GARY
I'm glad I have you to keep me grounded, Selso. Get you're bag out, I'll grab this
fucker's head.

CUT TO:

EXT. THE CAPTAIN'S MANSION- DAY

About a hundred yards from the mansion Gricel shoves her hair back as she walks away. El
Banda's truck pulls up with Leidy and Jazmine in the front.

LEIDY
Heya sis!

GRICEL
Oh my God! Leidy!

Jazmine and Leidy get out and hug Gricel.

JAZMINE
Are you ready to go home?

Jazmine stops hugging as she sees Satan's RV drive past on its way to The Captain's
mansion.

JAZMINE
Hey, I know that RV. Get in.

GRICEL
What are you doing?

JAZMINE
Just keeping the good vibes going.

CUT TO:

EXT. THE CAPTAIN'S MANSION- DAY

Gary and Selso sit on The Captain's deck smoking cocaine. Ralph and Tranquilo
walk up but no more than twenty feet from the house.

RALPH
You've done it! Congratulations, my good men. Bring me that bastard's head.

GARY
You got our two hundred thousand dollars?

Ralph turns to Tranquilo, who holds up the two large non-decrypt bags.

RALPH
It's here. Bring me The Captain's head.

GARY
(low, to Selso)
Motherfucker, I just sat down.

Gary slides out of his chair, Selso follows and they step off the porch and approach. Gary
tosses the bag to Ralph, he looks inside to The Captain's severed head.

RALPH
Perfect. And your money.

Tranquilo hands the bags over to Selso, who looks inside.

SELSO
We got it, Gary.

RALPH
Pleasure, men. Good day.

Tranquilo approaches Gary and Selso.

TRANQUILO
I give a bible study on Thursdays from seven to nine-thirty if you're interested in
joining us.

Hess appears and then stumbles.

HESS
You've killed the Captain! Thank you, thank you so much, Gary and Selso for ruining me.

RALPH
Martin, are you drunk?

HESS
I am drunk thanks to this bastard.

Dewey walks in behind Hess.

DEWEY
I told you to pace yourself. So who got The Captain?

SELSO
We did motherfucker! Ha! Ain't that right, Gary?

GARY
Maybe somebody shouldn't have been so busy with his girlfriend.

Lane and Yauria stroll up hand in hand.

LANE
Alright! Who won?

SELSO
We did motherfucker!

LANE
Congrats, men. Did the world some good today.

Lane grabs Yauria and kisses her. Dewey looks away. Yauria kisses Lane back.

LANE
I like to think I had a good time for all my trouble.

YAURIA
You better believe it, boy.

Satan's RV pulls up. Satan steps off.

SATAN
And so The Captain is dead?

MARTIN
I'm sorry I failed you, my lord. Please grant me a chance to redeem myself?

SATAN
You're out, Martin. You're powers are gone, you're finished. I don't want to ever see you
again.

Hess accepts this and stumbles away.

SATAN
(to Ralph)
The big plan worked. You destroyed The Captain and avenged Ariana. How does it feel?

Ralph stays silent.

SATAN
Not enough, huh? But you won. Enjoy it for now. Congratulations, Gary Two Trips and Selso
Martinez. A job well done, you've won.

GARY
What did we win?

SATAN
A contest of sorts. To see who would kill The Captain.

SELSO
We killed The Captain motherfucker, Jesus! How many times do I have to say-

SATAN
-yes you did. And now you can replace The Captain! Think of it! A different loving woman
every night! You men look as if you could use some loving.

Satan reaches out and takes the bags of money from Selso.

SELSO
Gary?

Gary doesn't interfere. Satan tosses both bags of money behind him.

SATAN
With what I have planned for you boys, you'll earn enough to spend more than that on a
good breakfast. Shall we? Unlimited evil brings unlimited results.

SELSO
Gary, we're gonna work for the devil!

GARY
It looks that way- (Gary sees Ariana approaching and is sickened) holy shit!

Ariana walks in between Gary and Selso. Even Satan has to look away.

SATAN
It's Ralph's one true love. The cause of all this death.

Ralph has his head toward the ground as Ariana approaches. Ariana holds her hand out.
Ralph, still looking at the ground takes Ariana's hand in his. Everyone watching nearly
pukes. Ralph looks up and sees the Ariana he remembers so well. He grabs her and kisses
her.

YAURIA
He must really love her.

DEWEY
(to Yauria)
And what would you know about that?

Ariana holds on to Ralph and kisses him back.

GARY
Fuckin' A Man! Do you not see what you're kissing?

SATAN
My gift of perspective, angel. Until next time. Men- there's evil to do.

Satan throws his arms around Gary and Selso and walks them towards his RV.

Lane lets Yauria go.

LANE
Well I'm out. You and me Yauria, the next time I'm in Mexico, we're hooking up.
And thanks for the nursing me back to health thing.

DEWEY
Ha!

LANE
Fellas- next adventure- give me a buzz.

Yauria is embarrassed and walks the other way.

El Banda's truck has parked and Jazmine walks up to Satan.

JAZMINE
Hey dude! How are you feeling?

SATAN
Ooh, just fine.

JAZMINE
I was worried about you.

SATAN
Ugh, thank you, ugh.

Satan walks away as Jazmine follows him.

JAZMINE
Are you sure you're alright? You look flushed. Are you getting sick? You know when I get
sick I like to pretend I'm my own doctor, and I do silly things like say- "take two of
these and call me in the morning"-

Satan rushes Gary and Selso inside the RV and shuts the door.

CUT TO:

INT. THE RV- DAY

SELSO
Tell me more about this unlimited evil, I always told Gary I felt limited.

SATAN
Well in short it means there is no limit to the evil you can comm-

Satan stops, stunned at what he finds at the kitchen table.

Mickey has a gun to Pa-ul's head. He shoots Pa-ul then before Satan can move Mickey blows
him away as well.

MICKEY
That's for my cock you son of a bitch.

SELSO
Shit man.

GARY
You just killed the lord of all evil.

SELSO
He was gonna give us jobs, you dumb fuck.

MICKEY
I have the money you threw away. It's enough to get us by while we continue to rid the
world of evil.

CUT TO:

EXT. THE CAPTAIN'S MANSION- DAY

Mickey is shoved off the RV.

GARY
Fuck you.

SELSO
Yeah!

The RV takes off.

CUT TO:

EXT. DEWEY'S MANSION- STREET- DAY

Tamaledo has his cart set up and hands a hot tamale to the Real Estate Agent, who takes a
bite.

REAL ESTATE AGENT
Oh, delicious, Tamaledo.

TAMALEDO
(in English)
Thank you.

REAL ESTATE AGENT
And you have a lovely family.

TAMALEDO
Oh si!

The camera pans to additional carts set next to Tameledo's where his wife and kids have
set up shop selling a variety of Mexican handi-crafts.

THE REAL ESTATE AGENT
And what about him?

Tamaledo and The Real Estate Agent look up.

EXT. DEWEY'S MANSION ROOF- DAY

Dewey smacks a golf ball into the ocean. He looks back at his audience which includes
Ralph (who's kissing Ariana) Tranquilo, Hess, Jazmine, Leidy and Gricel.

RALPH
Let's all thank Dewey Beers for the use of his home.

Gricel, Jazmine and Leidy look away.

RALPH
So this is a celebration, let's relax and have some fun.

JAZMINE
You promised us you'd take us to find Gabe.

Ralph points over the roof towards the beach. Jazmine leans on the edge and sees
Gabe playing in the surf with The Groupies.

Sheila grabs two beers and hands one to Boxhead. She carefully takes the box off and
Boxhead is unmistakably Mr. Loya, the dad Jazmine, Gricel and Leidy lost eight years ago.

JAZMINE
Dad?

JAZ&LEIDY&GRICEL
Dad!

The girls rush to Boxhead, who has to fix his eyes to the light, Sheila stops them.

SHEILA
He ain't you're Daddy, he's crazy just like me! Why we've been locked up together for 8
years, with him not remembering who he was, just getting a bonk on the head once. He even
thought he was my doctor at one point.

Ralph stops kissing long enough to hand a beer to Hess.

RALPH
Martin, lighten up. You were sick of that job anyway. I do serve The God of Forgiveness.
I'll put in a good word for you.

HESS
I’d appreciate anything you could do, Angel.

Hess sips his beer but quickly spits it out.

HESS
Does this have piss in it?

RALPH & DEWEY
(laughing)
Yeah.

Ralph hands Hess a new bottle then goes back to kissing Ariana until Tranquilo interrupts
him.

TRANQUILO
(to Ralph)
You have broken God's laws and you have made me an accomplice to your sacrilege. And yet
you sit there with a smile on your face and a beer in your hand. Your Grace, tell me, how
can this make you happy?

RALPH
Relax and enjoy the breeze, Padre. We did a little good I think.

TRANQUILO
(To Ralph)
Sabastion still died. I don't think you're plan was perfect.

RALPH
No it wasn't perfect.

Ralph finishes his drink.

CUT TO:

EXT. WOODS- DAY

The frame is washed out, overly bright showing a river bed surround by trees. Sabastion
and his wife appear and hug once again.

CUT TO:

EXT. DEWEY'S MANSION- ROOF- DAY

Dewey looks back at the group with a faint smile. He grabs a beer and we TRACK him off the roof, down the steps into his
mansion and out the front door.

CUT TO:

EXT. DEWEY'S MANSION- DAY

Dewey steps outside and grabs a lawn chair. He walks with it to the front of his property
and has a sit and sips his beer. Alone. He's restless and tosses the beer. He gets up and
walks away.

CUT TO:

EXT. THE OCEAN- DAY

Waves crash as Yauria sits on an old stone flood wall looking out at the ocean.
She gets up and walk along the boardwalk.

Dewey walks along the same boardwalk. Yauria approaches and with no eye contact Dewey and
Yauria walk past each other. Dewey is set to keep going but he stops and turns.

DEWEY
Yauria! Are you just gonna walk away from me?

Yauria keeps walking.

DEWEY
Well fuck you then, Yauria! I hope you die!

Jazmine has come down off of Dewey's roof and stands on the boardwalk tapping her foot right next to Dewey.

DEWEY
You think Gricel will take me back?

JAZMINE
No.

DEWEY
How about me and you, doll?

JAZMINE
No.

DEWEY
Leidy?

JAZMINE
(blowing Dewey off)
Gabe! Gabe! Tell those girls you have to go and get over here!

Gabe sees Jazmine and thinks about running. When he sees he might not get far he puts his
head down and walks to Jazmine. Jazmine puts her arm around him and walks him back to
Dewey's mansion. Dewey stands alone watching the sunset.

AERIAL SHOT: The frame picks up off Dewey and then to Jazmine and Gabe to the roof and into the sky.

THE END

CREDITS

DYNAMIC RAIN AND THUNDER'S
BEWARE OF THE CAPTAIN
DRAFT VERSION 10
JANUARY 2007

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